Intimitet, sexualitet, lust och olust

Intimacy, sexuality, desire and displeasure

For many of us, the ability to connect at a deeper level in our relationship, feeling happier and more at ease, is strongly connected with the desire and courage to being close and authentic sexually. In the therapy sessions related to intimacy and sex, my ambition is to help clients identifying what can bring more joy and energy, enabling them to achieve a greater and richer sexual life.

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Intimacy, sexuality, desire and displeasure

  • Where and how did your sexual life journey start?
  • What characterises your sexual timeline?
  • How were you introduced into intimacy and sex?
  • How do you maintain and nurture intimacy and desire over time?
  • What creates desire, security and maybe curiousity? Is there something that you or your partner can do to develop more of what is needed in your relationship?
  • If you have unspoken desires or fantasies about intimacy and sex that feel embarrassing, vulnerable or even risky to bring up with your partner, what can you do? How can you fulfill your desires, without creating anxiety or conflict in the relationship at the same time?
  • If any of your previous sexual experiences have an unfavourable influence on your desire and sexual life, what are the things you can do about it today? Is there a way you can leave old patterns behind and address your displeasure, or maybe your lack of confidence, in a favourable way?
  • What are often the reasons behind performance anxiety, displeasure, inability to orgasm etc. and are there any methods that you can use to gradually evolve into a more pleasant space?
  • Has your sexual life faded over time and you are worried that the lack of intimacy has a negative impact on your relationship? Is there anything you and your partner can do about it?
  • Is your relationship doing well, but your sexual life has been sluggish for quite some time? Are you curious about how you can enrich your intimacy and thereby develop more desire and happiness? Is there a way you can do it?

In the client sessions we look into the individual’s attachment patterns and develop ideas and plans for how to leave unfavourable patterns behind, and to develop a safer, happier and more lustful feeling. We identify habits that stand in the way, such as avoiding emotional proximity and confirmation, or maybe having a strong need to be as close as possible in the relationship in order to feel secure. Some people experience fear of not being sufficient sexually and may even feel dejected, while others try to maintain emotional control in intimate and sexual situations. In speaking about the anxiety and fear, we create hope and energy to address the issues. Our responsiveness and empathy become very important to our intimate relations and sexual encounters.

  • Are you having a sexual dialogue with yourself? Is there one with your partner?
  • Can you express your insecurity and how?
  • How can you develop your ability to have a high quality sexual dialogue?
  • What are the ways to create greater understanding of each other and why we act as we do? How can we support each other in addressing attachment concerns and fulfilling our desires?
For many of us it will become important to develop towards a more “secure attachment”, because it affects our ability to experience greater desire and pleasure in intimate situations, or during our sexual adventures. Some may need to find another way of relating to intimacy and sex than they are used to. Would it be an option for you to start looking at your sexual life as the most joyful and treasured of your hobbies? What would you then do differently?
  • In silence grow the unreasonable inner thoughts, from which we limit the development and learning needed”
  • ”To choose a relaxed and secure sexual exploration which feels strengthening and affirmative”

Regardless of age, you can find your source of inspiration and ability to increase your quality of life. When displeasure takes over, we can all learn to steer away from it. Find your feeling of desire by knowing what affects your lust! With my expertise and support, based on in- depth studies in sexology, as well as considerable previous client experience, you can develop your understanding of and ability to enjoy more from one of the strongest driving forces of us human beings.